Road Trip Day 1

 Road Trip Day One

Denver to Topeka

March 30th, 2024

I got up around 6am like I always do even on the weekends. Heated up some water for coffee. Checked in on Antonio who was getting a bit more sleep.

I was really excited for this trip. I have never been to the Kentucky destination and have never been on such a long trip with Antonio. I was looking forward to both for weeks when my mom asked if I wanted to make the trip to bring her car to her and my dad.

Antonio got up and after some coffee, we gathered our bags, packed them into the car, and headed out for what was to be an amazing road trip.

How to stay awake in the Plains.

Usually, when I am driving east of Denver on I-70 I tend to have issues with staying awake. Mostly because I have done it so many times and there is literally NOTHING out there that holds interest.

This trip was different. For one thing, I wasn't doing it alone like I had before. I had someone with me who I was fully engaged with and him, me. Antonio is all about books, so he made sure to have a couple with him that he was going to read on the road. I thought he was going to read them just to keep himself awake or from being bored. Nope. He wanted to read them aloud. I had never been on a trip where someone read a book aloud, live. I have, of course, listened to audiobooks. This was going to be very different.

He started with The Occult Anatomy of Man by Manly P. Hall. 

From ThriftBooks.com - "In this thought-provoking book, Manly P. Hall, the renowned founder of the Philosophical Research Society, takes you on a journey through the mystical and esoteric aspects of human existence."

I didn't know this book was going to be so good. Antonio would read a section and then we would talk about it and then he would read more.

The second book was The Hermetica by Timothy Freke & Peter Gandy

From ThriftBooks.com - "The first easily accessible translation of the esoteric writings that inspired some of the world's greatest artists, scientists, and philosophers. Here is an essential digest of the Greco-Egyptian writings attributed to the legendary sage-god Hermes Trismegistus (Greek for thrice-greatest Hermes), a combination of the Egyptian Thoth and the Greek Hermes."

Not a book you would think to be good for reading out loud on a road trip but you would be mistaken. Maybe was Antonio reading and I love to hear his voice but it was really a good choice to read. Very esoteric.

The final book was a novel. Masters' Counterpoints by Larry Townsend

From ThriftBooks.com - "This suspenseful, gay erotic novel has all the elements. A series of crimes introduces therapist turned detective Bruce McCleod whose investigations lead him to a father-son S/M team whose activities may have crossed the line from kinky fun to deadly intentions."

This one was fun. Yes, it is erotic at times and it was interesting hearing Antonio reading those parts.

The books were read a chapter at a time and then he would switch between them. I never felt sleepy once.

Kansas

There are two distinct parts to Kansas when driving across the state. Flat and boring to hills and interesting. The defining line is around Salina. From there to our first stop it was very different from what I was used to. The rolling hills started and there was more stuff to see on the side of the road. Including some signs promoting the Adult bookstores at different exits. No, we didn't stop. Some looked really sketchy.

We eventually made it to the hotel outside of Topeka, the Sleep Inn. 

The Real Housewives of Topeka

Now this isn't really a thing, just a name I gave to a particular group of "ladies" Antonio and I encountered.

We had checked into the hotel and decided to check out the hot tub and pool to relax from the road. We found the pool and tub and also found the hot tub was being monopolized by 7 women, half of them just sitting on the edge drinking some kind of White Claw knockoff. There was also a gaggle of children splashing and jumping in the pool. Antonio and weren't deterred and we decided to just enjoy the pool. That is when we realized that we were getting the "stink-eye" from a couple of the "ladies" in the hot tub. We did our best to ignore them and even found it funny that they would be so haughty. 
We did eventually get worn out with the pool and more kids showed up so we toweled off and headed back to the room.

End of the Day One

We got back to the room and decided to take a shower to rinse off the pool. The shower was massive and for the first time in our relationship, we showered together. Sorry, no details here, it is a family show after all.
After the amazing shower, I fell asleep very quickly, and Antonio shortly after.

Friend to Companion

New Friend

In 2018 I met a guy in a support group. Antonio was new to the group and I had missed his first visit. Immediately he caught my attention. Not because he was really attractive, which is what most people would think, but because of what I felt from him. He was a bright light in an otherwise dim environment. I didn't approach him right away, in fact it was a couple more group sessions before I got up the nerve to talk to him. 

See there is an age difference of 20 years between us. In my head that was not a good thing and should never be. Oh how wrong I was.

On the night I did finally talk to him, I asked if he needed help transporting the left over pizza we had from group, to his house. He was on his bike and it would have been difficult to ride and carry the pizza box. He accepted and I drove over to his place. I asked if he wanted to hang out for a bit and chat. Again he accepted. That is how our now 6 year friendship/relationship started. 

Over the years we have become closer and closer, sharing the most secret parts of our lives. We have also shared the intimate parts of ourselves. Through all of it we became more than what the definion of friend could emcompass. We told ourselves that, "we don't need a label." But, how do you explain to someone who isn't in the relationship, who that person is to you fully? You need a "label". 

Boyfriend was out. It was just not right despite how we felt for each other. Yes, we have love for each other but it is more.
Partner was also out. We weren't that either.
Husband was out too and for the same reason as partner, and no rings on fingers.

So what do you call someone with whom you spend so much time? We hang out, go to dinner, be intimate, see movies, spend the night at each others homes, go on hikes, and take road trips together. What word in the English language would best describe that? 

We tossed words around. I seemed like it would be a lost cause because nothing seemed to fit.

Then Antonio landed on "confidant". While that did seem to fit some things it left out others. But, in the list of similar words was "companion". That word. That WORD. It made sense somehow. 

We now have a word for it. Something to say to others. 

COMPANION.

Of Endings and Beginnings

My first real relationship was in the early 1990's with an amazing man named Shayne. While it only lasted a short while, less than two years, it was a defining time in my life. After Shayne's passing in 1993 I bounced between guys, never finding one that was a good foundation for a relationship. That was until I met Michael in the late 1990's. I can't remember what it was or how we got together, that is either from time, age or injury, or all the above. What I can say is that the time we shared was amazing, difficult, and yes even on edge.

We traveled to London, twice. Both times were amazing and something I will never forget. We took 5 cruises over most of the Carribean. Each one an adventure and amazing. We bought a house. We bought chickens. We bought a dog. 

We survived many things as well. COVID being the last major thing. It made us stronger. But the events of 2016 and 2017 broke what we had. It shattered the love that was there. But I didn't want to let go and held onto what was in hopes of some sort of fix and a return to how things used to be.

OF ENDINGS

A recent talk with Michael made me realize that it wasn't going to happen and that I needed to let go of what I was holding on to so tightly. I needed to let go of the idea that we would be returning to how it was. I needed focus on the new parts of my life and my relationships with my friends. 

I didn't realize what was going to happen however. I did let go. The day after I found a massive void in my being. More massive than when Shayne passed away. I didn't know what I was going to do fill the void.

OF BEGINNINGS

More talking with Michael and I reassured him that I wouldn't leave. I need to stay because the house is in both of our names and we are both responsible for it. We but so much into the house and I want to keep it even if I am just a housemate. I have transitioned to fully living in the basement with the spare bedroom. It has been very nice and there is so much less stress in the house. I am keeping my income to contribute with to the bills and I will continue to do the upkeep.