New Friend
In 2018 I met a guy in a support group. Antonio was new to the group and I had missed his first visit. Immediately he caught my attention. Not because he was really attractive, which is what most people would think, but because of what I felt from him. He was a bright light in an otherwise dim environment. I didn't approach him right away, in fact it was a couple more group sessions before I got up the nerve to talk to him.
See there is an age difference of 20 years between us. In my head that was not a good thing and should never be. Oh how wrong I was.
On the night I did finally talk to him, I asked if he needed help transporting the left over pizza we had from group, to his house. He was on his bike and it would have been difficult to ride and carry the pizza box. He accepted and I drove over to his place. I asked if he wanted to hang out for a bit and chat. Again he accepted. That is how our now 6 year friendship/relationship started.
Over the years we have become closer and closer, sharing the most secret parts of our lives. We have also shared the intimate parts of ourselves. Through all of it we became more than what the definion of friend could emcompass. We told ourselves that, "we don't need a label." But, how do you explain to someone who isn't in the relationship, who that person is to you fully? You need a "label".
Boyfriend was out. It was just not right despite how we felt for each other. Yes, we have love for each other but it is more.
Partner was also out. We weren't that either.
Husband was out too and for the same reason as partner, and no rings on fingers.
So what do you call someone with whom you spend so much time? We hang out, go to dinner, be intimate, see movies, spend the night at each others homes, go on hikes, and take road trips together. What word in the English language would best describe that?
We tossed words around. I seemed like it would be a lost cause because nothing seemed to fit.
Then Antonio landed on "confidant". While that did seem to fit some things it left out others. But, in the list of similar words was "companion". That word. That WORD. It made sense somehow.
We now have a word for it. Something to say to others.
See there is an age difference of 20 years between us. In my head that was not a good thing and should never be. Oh how wrong I was.
On the night I did finally talk to him, I asked if he needed help transporting the left over pizza we had from group, to his house. He was on his bike and it would have been difficult to ride and carry the pizza box. He accepted and I drove over to his place. I asked if he wanted to hang out for a bit and chat. Again he accepted. That is how our now 6 year friendship/relationship started.
Over the years we have become closer and closer, sharing the most secret parts of our lives. We have also shared the intimate parts of ourselves. Through all of it we became more than what the definion of friend could emcompass. We told ourselves that, "we don't need a label." But, how do you explain to someone who isn't in the relationship, who that person is to you fully? You need a "label".
Boyfriend was out. It was just not right despite how we felt for each other. Yes, we have love for each other but it is more.
Partner was also out. We weren't that either.
Husband was out too and for the same reason as partner, and no rings on fingers.
So what do you call someone with whom you spend so much time? We hang out, go to dinner, be intimate, see movies, spend the night at each others homes, go on hikes, and take road trips together. What word in the English language would best describe that?
We tossed words around. I seemed like it would be a lost cause because nothing seemed to fit.
Then Antonio landed on "confidant". While that did seem to fit some things it left out others. But, in the list of similar words was "companion". That word. That WORD. It made sense somehow.
We now have a word for it. Something to say to others.
COMPANION.
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